Believe it or not, I was incredibly insecure while I was growing up. As the second of eight siblings I felt like I was constantly being compared with my siblings. I was also teased and called "fat" when I wasn't. To put things into perspective I was about 5 ft 4 and 100 pounds... so "technically" underweight. Sadly, the one thing which stood out the most was being teased about my weight. It doesn't take a genius to realize I wasn't "fat", but because of the constant teasing I began to believe I was overweight. I'd rather not divulge all of the consequences, but I began obsessing with my weight. I had to work out all of the time... although I did enjoy working out, I know realize that it wasn't healthy at the time because it began to consume my life.Fast-forward to the present -- I have gained weight in the last few years. To most it is not noticeable -- in fact, people get mad if I tell them I've gained weight, or just tell me I'm crazy. Whether you agree or not, I have. It's not a ton, but I definitely notice it. The funny thing is, I really don't mind! I'm actually pretty happy with the way I look. I have a better self image now than I did in the past. I'm not entirely sure how that came about, but I am more than okay with that.
Today we are bombarded from every direction with advertisements that tell us we should look a certain way, but I refuse to give in to the current "Hollywood" fad of being an anorexic twig (sorry if I offend anyone, I'm just trying to make a point). As I get older I am growing more and more comfortable with the way I look, and who I am as a person. If you asked me in the past if I was happy with the way I looked my honest answer would have been no. I really thought I would get more insecure with age... maybe I'm just a weirdo. Whatever it is, as long as I'm alive, healthy, and I have my family, that is all that really matters!
