Five Steps to Perfect Customer Service

I had someone come into work today who looked quite constipated and was being incredibly rude. Whenever I come across someone like that I basically force them to be happy / nice to me. If you come into my place of work and I want you to smile, you will.

How do I do it? Here are the five steps I take:

Step One: Smile and sound genuine
If you look unhappy or grumpy it is basically impossible to make your customer happy. I've always been pretty good at pretending that I am a bubbly ray of sunshine, even when not, so it's not a stretch for me. Also, if you have a fake sounding voice, then forget about it! Honestly, if this is tough of you, as cheesy as it sounds, practice with a friend.

Step Two: Small Talk
Small talk, like asking how someone's day is going, is a great conversation piece. I almost always ask how someone's day is going. If you do happen to know the customer, make sure you use their name.

Step Three: Complement
A little flattery will go a long way. There is always something you can complement someone about, and if you can't find something, look harder. Examples: "oh, what a lovely ring," "great to see you again."

Step Four: Be personable, make them really believe they are special
Your customer wants to think they are the highlight to your day. They are the most important person to you (well... according to them). Don't shatter that illusion!

Step Five: Smile again and wish them well
Give your customer a fond memory of you. Most simple example of this is: "thank you for coming in. I hope you have a wonderful day."

Top 5 Reasons my Dog Should be President

In the midst of the chaos which is the American Presidential race I have come to an incredibly important decision: My dog, Bear, should be the President of the United States!!! Why you ask? Here are the top ten reasons my dog should be President of the United States!

10) No one could ever stay mad at Bear
Seriously, look at that face! So precious!! She's so beautiful that even grumpy people smile at the sight of her.

9) Bear does not yell
She has a very calm demeanor and the only time she even barks is if you startle her with really loud noises (really loud because she is partially deaf).

8) The sexual escapades or tasteful nudes of Bear's spouse would never come in question
Mostly because she doesn't have a spouse, and she is a dog, but seriously? Look at her face and tell me she would ever be involved in such behavior?

7) No nude photos  or sexual escapades of Bear's wilder days would come to light
Somewhat related to the the extracurricular activities of her spouse, but also separate, there are no nudes which exist of Bear because she is a dog. None would ever exist, unless you could photos of her butt shaved after she had surgery. In regards to videos, seriously? She is a precious angel! You won't find any!

6) Bear's platform is impressive: More treats for everyone!
That is an idea everyone can get behind. Who doesn't like food? Especially the treat variety.

5) Negotiations would consist of belly rubs and cuddles
Everyone wins in that scenario. Bear would calm down angry negotiators and everyone could made decisions with a level head.

4) Bear is incredibly honest
We won't ever have to worry about the President of the United States lying or doing shady backhanded deals because she is a dog and can't lie.

3) Bear has a positive attitude and loving
When she had surgery a few months ago she wanted to cuddle with me and give me love. Just hours from coming out of surgery I came home to a dog trying to jump on me with excitement because she was so happy to see me (it is important to note I didn't let her jump -- after the first leap I was basically her personal assistant).

2) She inspires me to be a better person
After a hard day at work which is sometimes overwhelming, it is comforting to come home to someone that is overjoyed to see me no matter what. It doesn't matter what happened during either of our days, she inspires me to smile and work hard so I can buy her more dog food and toys.

1) Bear has better hair than both Trump and Hillary
Bear hands (or paws) down wins this by a landslide! Bear's fur is so luxurious and soft. Everyone would be trying to determine who secret hair care regime. If you were wondering, she has fish oil in her food.

Obviously there are many more reasons that my dog should be President of the United States, but I couldn't fit them all here. Seriously everyone! Vote Bear 2016

Worst Day at Work I've Ever Had

I have been working at the same restaurant for 1.5 years and tonight was unusually busy and I was working with some slower waitresses. I work in a busy restaurant and some awful customers left a nasty note on top of not tipping on a $105.81 bill. I want to get in contact with them because I believe what they wrote is completely unfair and I would like to defend myself. I realize that it won't do anything, but I came home tonight feeling like crying because it was really hard not to quit last night after everything I had to deal with!

What happened? I'll try to keep it relatively short:

First off, at the restaurant we have no busser, host, cashier, food runner, nothing! Just the front and back crews, and we were short a girl to begin with. We have to do everything ourselves. A group of people arrived and we had no tables, so I put them on the waiting list. As soon as I saw an open table I bused, set it, and took the group to their seats. All within about 15 minutes. I got drink orders as soon as I sat them because I didn't want them sitting without anything to drink. After that I continued trying to seat people, all while running food, bussing tables, taking orders, cashing people out. I was trying to give everyone time and help, but it was particularly hard tonight.

I had the misfortune of seating the particular group in question and even got their drink orders straight away. At the restaurant we all share everything, and are not assigned specific tables, so I was not their assigned waitress, I was just one of the people helping out. Everything they asked me they got. I went past a few times asking how they were. Did they ask me for anything or complain to my face? NO! I was literally running through the restaurant, sweating like nobody's business, and was bright red in the face. I am incredibly hurt and upset that people would be that careless and rude to not say anything to my face, and call me out on something I couldn't help. It was crazy tonight. Every other customer in the restaurant was nice to all of the waitresses. They are the only ones. 

The only info I have about them are the type of credit card they have, the last 4 digits, last name, and first initial of first name. I don't think I will ever get to say what I was to them. I feel like so low right now. I am already going through a rough patch and this made me feel 100 times worse. I really wish I never got up this morning. 

How to Deal with Removal of the Ex

It's a sad fact, but many relationships don't end very well. If they don't, sometimes you feel quite alone, but there is a way to move forward. When some people break up they like to keep little keepsakes to remember that person. I on the other had like to remove anything and everything I can to somewhat erase that they were ever in my life. Seem a little harsh? Well, that's what works for me. Maybe you're different and want to stay friends, but in my experience that hasn't worked. So, here is what has worked for me. 

1) Delete! Delete every picture, message, their number and other contact info, etc. from any and all electronic devices you have. Drunk dialing is almost impossible when you don't have their contact info.

2) Burn baby burn! Okay, so I don't physically burn anything, but I toss away everything they have ever given me: cards, notes, gifts. All gone! I've heard of a lot of people burning stuff, so if that's what floats your boat, go for it! Just make sure you are safe when you do it.

3) Avoid your "couples spots." Not forever, just until you have recovered enough to not care if you eat at your date night restaurant. I didn't go into a specific city for a while because I didn't want to be reminded of my ex. Kinda over the top, but it totally worked. And in case you were wondering, I go there now. 

4) Smile! Try to stay positive and keep smiling. Don't let one person bring you down. If you make an effort to bring joy back into your life, it will eventually become genuine and easier to come by.

5) Be selfish! You're allowed to be once in a while. Focus on bettering yourself as a person: take that dance class you've always wanted to take, go back to school, join a gym. Do what makes you feel great.

This is a condensed version of what to do, but these little steps are the main things I have learned to do over time. I haven't dated a billion guys, but I do know what it's like to be hurt by one you believed cared for you. If you are going though a breakup now, take things day by day. You will feel whole and happy again! <3

Get the Body you Want!

For anyone out there wanting to get into shape, I have an amazing fitness training program for you! It's something that has been working for me. It has made me look and also feel a lot healthier. Lately I've been hitting the gym hard following the Jaime Eason's Live Fit 12 Week Trainer as a workout guide. 

It's simple to use, really effective, and 100% free. You don't have to pay a dime for expensive personal training. All you need to do is get a gym membership and exercise a little self control. I've made a few changes to the program because it is something that personally works for me and I'm hoping it's going to get me looking like Jaime Eason herself in no time. I implement 10-15 minutes of cardio as a warm up and for the last week I've also been doing 30 minutes of cardio once I'm done doing the excercises given to you for free with the program. 

I am the first to admit that I do not 100% follow the eating plan (on the inside I am a fat kid and absolutely love ice cream, chocolate, and other sweets). With that said, overall I have been making an effort to eat healthy and I work my a#@ off at the gym. I typically spend 1.5 to 2 hours at the gym every day. Of course you don't have to be quite so crazy as me. I happen to like working out and actually get incredibly addicted to it. I guess I'm lucky with that. For those who aren't likeminded, don't be discouraged! If you stick at it, I promise you will see results. You have nothing to loose. 

P.S. In case you were wondering, I am in no way being payed to endorce this product, I just want to share something free, which has been working for me.

Best Weird Metal Songs

I know Metal isn't exactly everyone's "cup of tea," but personally I enjoy it. Metal helped me through calculus in college (I suffer from chronic migraines, and it actually helped me focus on homework and studying). Without Metal, it is safe to say, I would not have graduated! To honor what Metal has done for me, I have compiled a list of the top 5, best, weird, but awesome Metal songs..

#5) Dethklok, Hatredcopter

Click on the link in the title and enjoy! With lyrics like "I, am likely to find, from my failure to fly, that I will be fired for not killing you, cause that is my job, Hatredcopter. You, will most likely die, from the hands of my arm, when I come and fly and, take off your face, with the front of my Hatredcopter." I wonder what kind of drugs were involved in the writing of this song. In all seriousness, I really like this song! The entire series of Metalocolypse is beyond ridiculous -- perhaps that's why I enjoyed watching it. They are making a fourth season, which I am excited about. I can add more songs to this list! And who can forget the Batmetal version!

#4) Avenge Sevenfold, A little Piece of Heaven

A song about murdering someone because they said no to a wedding proposal is kinda psychotic, but the beat and chorus lyrics are pretty darn catchy. I showed the video to a friend and her initial reaction was "what the heck!" Now she listens to it over and over again. I am somewhat surprised that A Little Piece of Heaven has not become more popular with the whole zombie craze that has been happening since the T.V. show The Walking Dead. Who knows, there is still time for people to become obsessed with it.

#3) Dethklok, Mermaider

With almost every song they make, Dethklok never ceases to confuse me with their lyrics. If a song about Mermaids being murdered and murdering a random creature wasn't enough, they use acid underwater... is anyone else confused by that? I mean seriously, if you throw acid into the ocean I'm pretty sure it would get diluted enough to the point that it would not be harmful. I may be wrong, but that is one of the things that boggled my mind the most about the song.

#2) Children of Bodom, Oops I Did it Again

A Brittany Spears cover by a metal band... What the heck... Even though the mere fact that this exists kinda confuses me, I do feel that this version is 100 times better than the original, which I personally think sounds like excrement. My disdain of the original song is partially based around the fact that I do not like Brittany Spears at all. Overall I would say that it is a good cover.... it's weird... but I kinda like it.

#1) Goodnight Nurse, Milkshake

This is seriously the best Milkshake cover ever! I never liked the original of this song and also despise Kelis... so the fact I like the cover makes it completely awesome. I would even venture to say that I like it more than Children of Bodom's cover of Oops I Did it Again. Excellent work, Goodnight Nurse, you have created a masterpiece out of a piece of nothing!

I'm Radioactive?

Today I overheard some idiot in a coffee shop saying that everything in the South Pacific is radioactive. Last I checked, the only recent nuclear activity was in the northern region of the pacific ocean... Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I would say that there is a big difference between north and south. If everything was radioactive, there would be some kind of restriction with travel, food, drinks, and everything else coming from and going to the South Pacific. 

To the poor fellow who has a misguided notion about radioactivity, I strongly urge you to get some form of education (regardless of whether it includes the South Pacific). I can safely say that am from the South Pacific, and I'm not radioactive! I also do not have extra eyes, toes, fingers, or anything else which may be a side affect of exposure to radioactivity. 

Top Five Reasons to Drink Coffee

It is no secret that I LOVE coffee! If coffee were a man, I would put a ring on it. Perhaps I am addicted, but I prefer to think that coffee and I share a deep bond. Because I consume copious amounts of caffeine (mainly in the form of coffee and energy drinks) I decided to see what it was actually doing to my body, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I should continue drinking the beautiful nectar of the gods. Here is why: 

Reason 1) Coffee reduces your chances of getting oral cancer! A study which was published in the American Journal of Epidemiology which was performed concluded that if adults drink coffee daily their chances of getting oral cancer can be reduced as much as 50%! For more info about the study, click here.

Reason 2) Coffee helps your memory! In a study it was found that coffee increases brain activity in the memory rich frontal lobe and attention-controlling anterior cingulum. Additionally, if you drink coffee during your "golden years," it can actually help prevent the development of Alzheimer's disease. Click here for more info.

Reason 3) Coffee helps boost your metabolism and can suppress your appetite! Anyone who is concerned with dieting should know about this fact. Of course, if you drown your coffee with sugar and creamer it's not really going to help you loose weight, but any type of healthy food can also be abused. Even Dr. Oz has featured coffee as a metabolism booster on his website. 

Reason 4) Coffee helps to fight depression! A study performed by the National Institutes of Health and the AARP discovered that people who drank four or more cups of coffee a day were 10% less likely develop depression than someone who didn't drink coffee at all. If you are interested in this subject click here.

Reason 5) Coffee can make you smarter! The key to intelligence has been revealed... COFFEE!  Okay, so not exactly... here is how it works: Coffee blocks the neurotransmitters in the brain associated with sleep and can temporarily boost cognition (especially if you're not getting enough sleep). Translated to normal-speak: drink coffee when you aren't able to sleep much because it will make you smarter! Click here for more info.

For many years coffee and I have shared a deep love. It has helped me through many of life's struggles. Coffee is there for me when I need a quick boost of energy, and even when I need a nice warm beverage before I go to sleep (yes, I understand that this is contradictory, but it actually relaxes me at night). I intend to continue my deep and loving relationship with coffee for many years to come! 

Life never quite turns out like you expect. Two years ago I expected to be studying towards a bachelors degree (in case you were wondering, I'm not). I expected to be doing more with my life than making barely enough money to survive by waiting tables. I get that complaining about everything isn't going to do anything, but I'm damn frustrated. I worked so hard to have a good G.P.A. (grade point average), did all of the extracurricular activities necessary to make me stand out from the crowd, had no social life for 5 years, and for what? A degree that doesn't even mean anything... I have a crappy job, a car that's about to die on me, I'm not able to go back to school like I wanted (my "break" from school was only supposed to be one year... it's been almost two), and my finances are a joke. It would be awesome if a big bag of money were to magically find its way to my front door... but that isn't likely to happen. Right now I'm feeling pretty discouraged about the general state of my life right now!

Does My Body Make Me Look Fat?

Believe it or not, I was incredibly insecure while I was growing up. As the second of eight siblings I felt like I was constantly being compared with my siblings. I was also teased and called "fat" when I wasn't. To put things into perspective I was about 5 ft 4 and 100 pounds... so "technically" underweight. Sadly, the one thing which stood out the most was being teased about my weight. It doesn't take a genius to realize I wasn't "fat", but because of the constant teasing I began to believe I was overweight. I'd rather not divulge all of the consequences, but I began obsessing with my weight. I had to work out all of the time... although I did enjoy working out, I know realize that it wasn't healthy at the time because it began to consume my life.

Fast-forward to the present -- I have gained weight in the last few years. To most it is not noticeable -- in fact, people get mad if I tell them I've gained weight, or just tell me I'm crazy. Whether you agree or not, I have. It's not a ton, but I definitely notice it. The funny thing is, I really don't mind! I'm actually pretty happy with the way I look. I have a better self image now than I did in the past. I'm not entirely sure how that came about, but I am more than okay with that.

Today we are bombarded from every direction with advertisements that tell us we should look a certain way, but I refuse to give in to the current "Hollywood" fad of being an anorexic twig (sorry if I offend anyone, I'm just trying to make a point). As I get older I am growing more and more comfortable with the way I look, and who I am as a person. If you asked me in the past if I was happy with the way I looked my honest answer would have been no. I really thought I would get more insecure with age... maybe I'm just a weirdo. Whatever it is, as long as I'm alive, healthy, and I have my family, that is all that really matters!

I'm a Cut You... Out of My Life

Last night was not particularly enjoyable for me. It started out good, but ended badly. A friend of mine flipped out on me, then I (being a genius) decided to walk a few miles back to my car in the middle of the night <--- really not my best decision. After this I was contacted and asked to call the friend in the morning. Really? Call you after you were rude/mean to me.

You may be wondering what my friend did... long story short she drunkenly told me I wasn't a good friend. That was pretty confusing to me because I wouldn't consider myself a bad friend to this person, but hey, if hanging out, being nice, and giving rides to places is being a bad friend then I'm more than happy to remain in the "category." When I asked why I was a bad friend (because I genuinely wanted to know if I was doing something which was not appropriate for our friendship) she wasn't able to give me reasons.

This morning they asked me to call them... I'm guessing either to tell me how stupid I was for walking away from them or maybe apologize... who knows. I know for a fact that I'm going to have to deal with this person, but right now I really just want to be by myself / only see people who don't tell me I am a "bad friend" for no reason. Seriously, if you're going to accuse me of being a bad friend tell me what I did (I asked and she was unable to give me any reasons).

So, I am sorry [friend], I'm need space, and I'm a cut you out of my life for a short time. If you decide to tell me why I am a bad friend, I'll change it. If I'm not a bad friend, tell me so we can move on from this. And please, don't drunkenly yell at me without telling me why -_-

Stop Being an Idiot!

If one more person in the United States talks about New Zealand and Australia being the same I will punch them in the face. I'm not even kidding. I am sick and tired of people doing comparing them. "Oh, you're from New Zealand... that's like Australia, right?" WRONG! Are you mentally challenged?  Do you need to have your ability to make decisions questioned because you are retarded? No! New Zealand and Australia are separate countries! Want to know how separate? Google maps can't even calculate a route, and it gives you directions from Japan to the United States!

I am beyond over having to deal with this! If I recognize the United States as a separate country from Canada and Mexico you sure as hell better give me the same courtesy. At least there is a sea between my country (New Zealand) and Australia - Canada and Mexico don't have the luxury. So stop being morons! New Zealand and Australia are separate counties! If you have difficulty acknowledging that, go to Walmart and get a map!  

Feel Inside and Stuff Like That!

Tonight, as usual, I was watching heaps of videos on YouTube -- I'm not going to sugar coat it... I'm addicted to YouTube. Of course ended up going through my "favorites." This prompted me to listen to Feel Inside and Stuff Like That which is a song by New Zealand musicians to raise money for a charity organization called Cure Kids which raises money for medical research. I thought I would share this gem with you all. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

If you want more information about the song / project, you can watch another video <click here>. It is a lot longer, but thoroughly enjoyable! You can purchase this song on iTunes and the proceeds will go to Cure Kids. Here are the lyrics: 

Feel Inside and Stuff Like That

There are children who are so unwell, 

They have to live their lives in hospitals, 

They're feeling lospital, 

Mospital.

Children getting sicker, 

Drinking too much bubble mixture, 

They all just wanna be bubbles, 

They all just wanna be bubbles.

There must be something we can do, 

To stop these kids from doing spews.

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids, 

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids.

Kids need us to come together, 

We can make them better, 

We can get them some feta.

Can raffle scooters cars and movie vouchers, 

John stop blowing all the money on couches.

We need a million and a hundred, 

Ten and twenty-one dollars.

We need to build a trap so we can catch all the robbers, 

We'll take their money, 

We'll rob the robbers, 

So we can fill a house, 

Fill a house full of dollars.

We'll go to peoples and ask to borrow some money, 

They'll probably all just give us some money, 

We give them back less money and cause a confusion, 

That's the solution, 

Yeah that's the collusion.

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids, 

Feel inside, 

Feel inside, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids.

The banks got the money the money, 

They get it from the prime minister, 

The prime minister gets it from the queen, 

The queen gets the money from the bank, 

Who gets it from the prime minister, 

The craziest financial system I've ever seen.

The kids that are sick can't do hip-hop anymore, 

Their tummies their tummies could be very sore, 

We've gotta dig for some oil and some cystals and gold, 

Collect teeth for the tooth fairy and put 'em in a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

A giant bowl, 

In a giant bowl.

Stop writing lyrics about yourself, 

Get your magic wallet up off the shelf, 

Oh no that wallet's not there anymore, 

I know late night come knock at my door.

We sneak in the room, 

Where my parents snore, 

My dad leaves his jeans lying on the floor, 

In his back packet there's a wallet we can score, 

Get about 50 dollars, 

Or maybe more.

Your dad catches you with wallet in hand, 

Say it's for the kids, 

He'll understand, 

Don't need to worry, 

Don't need to hide, 

I just tell my dad to feel inside.

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids, 

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids.

Top 5 Reasons Chuck Norris Should Run For President

With the upcoming 2012 electing approaching I have been bombarded with political information, and the sad thing is, even if I could vote, I wouldn't choose either of the candidates for president. If I could, I would vote for someone different.

You may be asking yourself who I would choose, and the answer is really quite obvious! There is only one person who comes to mind... A man who is intelligent beyond comprehension and stronger than any force imaginable. Who is this mystery man? Chuck Norris! It is an widely known fact that Chuck Norris is pretty darn amazing at absolutely everything. Chuck Norris has broken the speed of light and sound! He has also already explored every part of outer-space! You name it, if he wanted to, Chuck Norris could do it. But why president of the United States? Here is why: 

5) International Security: With Chuck Norris as President no country would dare start a war and democracy (or chuckocracy) would be practiced worldwide.

4) Intelligence: Chuck Norris is like Santa Claus. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Chuck Norris actually knows everything. It is a fact that all government and military branches go to Chuck Norris for intelligence information. If not roundhouse kicked to the face, the information they receive saves billions of lives. Chuck Norris is the one who informed the United States government of the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden. 

3) National Defense: Lets face it - with Chuck Norris as President there would be no need for any type of defense system. The military would exist purely for aesthetic reasons. Chuck Norris would personally train the entire U.S. military, and even donate his beard clippings to make Kevlar vests and other bullet proof materials.

2) Environmental Sustainability: Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick), and if tapped a single Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick could power the United States, along with the rest of the world, infinitely. 

1) He is Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris is better at everything than everyone who has ever existed and will exist. He has broken every record imaginable, and the only person who could ever beat Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. It goes without saying 

Electing Chuck Norris as President of the United States is the  best and only way to fix every problem not only in the United States, but also worldwide! It is also the only way world peace will come about. Chuck Norris is the way to a better tomorrow!

Chuck Norris for 2012 President of the United States!!!!

Five Reasons Women Hate Me

Recently it has come to my attention that women hate me. Why? Simply because I exist. I haven't done anything to "provoke" said hatred, however it seems to be quite abundant.

I've been attempting to come up with a logical explanation for this phenomena. Perhaps I'm too bitchy? Maybe a horrible person? ... but then my true friends tell me to stop being stupid because I am none of those.Over the last few weeks here is what I have come up with so far:

5) They feel inferior because my GPA is bigger than theirs! Intelligence is threatening to some people. I personally don't think I am particularly intelligent, but I have been told that this is one of the many factors which attribute to females hating me.

4) I have awesome fashion sense, I mean look at the picture to the right... there is a freaking bird on my sweater!!! How awesome is that? If you are wanting one of these lovely creations you are out of luck. I fashioned this snazzy number out of Christmas tree decorations and staples - true story!

If you are legitimately wondering why the heck I would wear such an ugly thing, it is because I entered an ugly sweater contest. Needless to say, I won.

3) I have a pretty sweet mustache. I've been growing it for almost 24 years! I get compliments about it all the time. Try not to be too jealous of me though. I mean, it's not a "real" mustache... With enough practice your mustache can be as awesome as mine... maybe!

If you're not able to perfect the finger mustache, you do have the option of buying a stick-on mustache. You can even get one for your car!

2) I particularly enjoy being in the kitchen <--- true story! Whenever anyone tells me to get back to the kitchen, I am more than happy to oblige. Being in the kitchen brings me immense joy, which cannot be obtained by being in the living room, laundry room, or even the hallway. The kitchen is a happy place for me. I could spend hours on end in the kitchen making delicious treats.

In all seriousness, I do enjoy cooking/baking, and would honestly like to start my own bakery one day... *fingers crossed it happens!* The cupcakes on the right are actually cupcakes I made. They were margarita cupcakes, and they tasted pretty darn fantastic. If I remember correctly, I made 48 of them for Cinco de Mayo, and they were demolished! 

1) I have a Harry Potter outfit, which includes a cape. I'm pretty sure this needs no explanation. This outfit has a cape, so it is amazing by default! Try not to be too jealous of me... you can get your very own in a Halloween store, which happen to be opening at this time of year. I don't usually like dressing up, but last Halloween I decided to give it a go again. I definitely enjoyed myself. I didn't really appreciate the sexual jokes about magic wands and such, but I guess that can't be helped.

On a side note: the shoes didn't come with the outfit, but I'm sure you can find something to match the outfit.

My life's ambition is not to please anyone else. I'm going to act, dress, and be who I want to be, not who you want me to be! If my existence offends you, too bad. You and your ovaries can get over it!

Creepers - ruining beautiful moments since forever!

Today I went on a wonderful 21 mile bike ride. The sun was shining, the scenery was beautiful, and there was a lovely ocean breeze. Some people would probably cringe at the very thought of such an activity, but I thought it would be the perfect way for me to spend my one day off this week.

Initially I planned to do a 20 mile bike ride. I mapped out my route, and set out. Along the way I encountered a couple of people who waved or politely said hi, but nothing too bad. I was pretty thrilled that I was being left alone for the majority of the ride. At the half way point I decided to take a detour to the beach. I like to go there to just sit and think... and clear my mind.

I stopped at the beach, and the scenery was so beautiful I decided to take a photo. So there I was, taking a picture, when some creeper said hi to me. I ignored him, and proceeded to take another picture. For some reason this idiot felt that my ignoring him was an invitation to sit in front of me with his guitar and attempt to talk to me. It wasn't. When he sat down, he asked me how my bike was. I said "it's good," and rode off.

My beautiful beach moment was ruined by a creeper! So here, creeper. Here is a note I have composed from the bottom of my heart. I hope you enjoy it!
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Creeper,

Why would you even attempt to confront a woman who is by herself? I was clearly ignoring you / not even acknowledging your existence. Do you think I want to be hit on by stupid creepers? NO, I don't! Do us both a favor, and prevent yourself from seeming like a rapist, don't approach females when they are alone in a semi-secluded area. Hell, don't approach them at all if they look like they want to be left alone. It's not like I was sitting there looking around for someone to talk to. I was still on my bike, taking a picture!

Sincerely,

Me

P.s. I'm not impressed by the fact that you can play the guitar. I can play the guitar, piano, and violin. You actually sucked at playing the guitar.

F-you Life!

Generally I have pretty bad luck with life. This last week I realized some pretty good friends aren't as "good" as I thought, my ex decided to "be nice" to me (which also means he felt the need to give me hypocritical advice), found out a friend is just using me for their own personal agenda, and just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I get a flat tire on the way to work which means I couldn't hang out with one of my best friends tonight. What makes that worse is that she leaving the country in less than a month (my timing may be slightly off, but I'm still pretty disappointed).

This week has been pretty rough! I was expecting it to continue to be horrid, but (I am happy to say) the tides have turned. When I went to get the tire replaced, it was free! I brought new rear tires earlier this year for Hugo, (my car), so they were under warranty. I was not expecting this because as I was driving along the freeway a nail went into the tire. I am beyond happy right now! Hugo and I are happily reunited once again, and we shall stay together for quite some time... I hope so anyway!

When is it okay to touch a waitresses ass?

Answer: NEVER! You would think this would be common sense, but some pervert brushed his hand against my butt, and it was not by accident! The douche had plenty of space to go past me without doing this, so why would he do it? Because he is a disgusting pervert! I feel incredibly sorry for his wife, who coincidentally had 2 glasses of chardonnay (and probably more alcoholic beverages when she got home). My entire day was ruined from this experience. So thank you, jerk!

Restaurant Etiquette - Don't have it? Go to McDonalds!

Ever since I started working in the food service industry I have seen some pretty interesting things... the good, bad, and ugly of the food service industry. The restaurants I have worked for have actually been pretty outstanding, which is pretty outstanding considering the last couple are sushi restaurants which serve raw fish.  Using my experience working in restaurants, I have come up with 5 tips for visiting American restaurants:

5) Just because you are being waited on, doesn't mean your server is your slave. I have had people talk down to me, speaking as though I wasn't even worthy of touching their dirty plates. Little do they know that their server graduated top of their class, and was offered full tuition scholarships to 4 private universities. Don't act like you are better than people!

4) If your server forgets something, don't be afraid to ask for it again. A simple "was my [insert food or drink item] coming out?" This is particularly important if it is a busy restaurant. If I forget something I feel horrible, and I would rather be told multiple times, than just before a customer leaves. When I am serving, I really do aim to provide the very best service possible, so if a customer doesn't get what they want I am not happy. 

3) You are not the only / most important person in the restaurant, so wait patiently. Chances are, your server is doing the best they can to get everything you want to your table or booth. While you a waiting enjoy the conversation of your company. If food is taking a long time and you are starving, ask your server if there are any appetizers which don't take very much time to come out.

2) A simple please and thank you go a long way. When people ask for things politely and say thank you it really does make my day. Even if I have a ton of things on my mind (work related or not) it really does brighten my day to have a customer genuinely thank me. 

1) Tip at least 20 percent if you received good service. Nowadays it is the norm in America to tip 20 percent. I will admit to tipping under 20 percent, but that is because I am originally from a country where people don't expect tips (it's not a social norm). If you got all your food and the server was friendly, tip them accordingly. I have had people who tipped me absolutely nothing, and I did everything correctly. One of the people actually owned a sushi restaurant herself, so you would think she would have tipped something, but she did not.

The customers I have throughout the day really do impact how I feel at the end of the night. If they were all rude I end up feeling pretty shitty. If I have at least 1 kind, polite customer I go home incredibly happy. I somewhat doubt any of my favorite customer's will read this, but if they are I want to say thank you for being amazing! You really do make my days better!

There is such a thing as bad service, and if you notice it then more likely than not the server's boss or manager will too. If you have any questions about anything else regarding my experience working in restaurants, feel free to leave a comment and I will answer it.

Australian Hate Mail

Yesterday I received 2 harassing emails from Australians. It was particularly awkward because I couldn't quite get past all of the spelling and grammar errors the Aussies wrote. If you actually know me, it will be no surprise to you that I was deeply troubled by the atrocious emails.

Aussie and Proud writes: "Ur just bloody jealous of australians because no one gives a s*#t about new zealanders and you know it. Your countries not even acknowledged."

Well, hello to you too! I actually didn't have anything against Australians, but thanks for making me question my views! With that said, I do have one pointer for you and your fellow countryman who decided to harrass me: learn to write correctly if you are going to attempt to insult someone! Chances are they won't take you seriously, nor will they care, if you cannot even form a correct sentence.

1. "Ur" is not a word, it is you're.
2. "australians" is supposed to be capitalized as is "New Zealanders."
3. "countries is the plural for country... unless I stated that I was from various countries, it is country. 

Here is the correct way of writing your "insult": "You're just bloody jealous of Australians because no one gives a s*#t about New Zealanders and you know it. Your country is not even acknowledged."
Aussie Bloke writes: "Just another Kiwi who is upset with the fact that they people mistaken them for being an Aussie. No need to make yourself look really stupid mate." 

1. The first "sentence" is a fragment, which means it is not complete.
2. Reconsider the use of "they."
3. "Mistaken" is the incorrect conjugation of the verb mistake.
4. The second "sentence" is also fragmented. 
5. When addressing anyone in a sentence a coma is needed.

Here is the correct way of writing your "insult": "You're just another Kiwi who is upset with the fact that people mistake them for an Aussie. There is no need to make yourself look really stupid, mate."

I have friends from all around the world who say that they learn Oceania, not Australia (and many of these friends went to very elite schools). Additionally, the head of the honors program at my school personally apologized to me for having maps mislabeled. It was really awesome of you to send hate mail to a girl... really awesome of you! Clearly you are top notch individuals.

Now to address the real matter at hand! The internet is a public forum where people are free to express their ideas and opinions no matter what they are. If you feel so strongly about the matter at hand, write your own damn blog instead of harassing a girl. Heck, if you feel like llamas are going to take over the world, write about it -- as I stated earlier, you are more than free to do so. The internet also allows you to view what you want, when you want it... which brings up my next question: why did you even read my blog? The name clearly stated the content... it's not like I tricked you into reading it. If you don't like it, close the tab or browser!

To those who don’t already know, New Zealanders and Australians have a love hate relationship. Sure we tease each other, but when it comes down to it we don’t actually have anything against each other (with the exception of the rude males who messaged me). For example, last week I had an awesome conversation with an Aussie. We are from the same part of the world for goodness sake!!!

I am proud to be a New Zealander, and that will never change! My country is absolutely beautiful and has a rich cultural heritage. With that said, I would greatly appreciate it if the individuals who messaged me would kindly refrain from harassing me (and yes, it is harassment – look it up in the dictionary if you don’t believe me). No need to make yourself look stupid, mates!