Australia Doesn't Exist

The continents of the world: Africa, America, Antarctica, Asia, Europe, South America, and Oceania...

If Oceania doesn't sound familiar to you are more than likely from the United States. And I just want to throw this out there, but the continent of "Australia" doesn't exist! Please save yourself from sounding like an idiot and kindly refrain from making such a horrendous mistake. The actual name off the continent is Oceania. And to those who disagree with me, I am pretty sure someone FROM the continent would know are from. When I first heard about the phantom continent of Australia I was deeply confused. When I figured out that the maps which are distributed in the United States are actually... mislabeled I was shocked and kinda disturbed. Now I'm trying to be as PC as possible, but this actually annoys me a lot, so please have a little understanding.

I get that Australia is the largest land mass in Oceania, but really? I feel like Americans should be given a little credit here... they kinda learn about 50 states AND have to spell Massachusetts... I mean seriously? that is not an easy word to spell! I'm more than sure that actually giving the correct name of a continent is not too difficult to grasp. Whatever the reason, if you try to tell me I am from Australia, I will be highly offended. I am not from Australia, have never been there, and probably will never go there in the future. If it does continue, I may just say that North America is named Canada...  

Ten Things You Should NEVER Wear

Some people are blessed with an amazing sense of style. Others are... seriously lacking in the style department. In order to help all you out there avoid some of the biggest fashion faux pas, I have compiled a list of the top 10 things you should never wear! And if I catch any of you wearing anything on this list, I will cross the street just to avoid being in your presence...

1) Stripes and spots together

I was taught this as a child: never under any circumstances wear stripes and spots together. It's one of the first fashion "rules" most people learn. I shouldn't have to explain why, but will anyway. It's awkward, looks hideous, and almost everyone in their right mind knows not to do this! Way too many things going on at one time!

2) Bigfoot Boots (or fuzzy boots)

These are absolutely hideous! I'm sorry, but it looks like you cut off a large furry animal's feet and are wearing them. Nothing about them is right! I understand that people are concerned about keeping their feet warm, but there are better ways... wearing 2 pairs of socks, other boots that don't look so grotesque... Seriously, they are ugly! If you think otherwise, may the Lord have mercy on your poor tasteless soul! 

3) The Visible Thong

Again another, slap in your face obvious faux pas, but you have no idea how many people I see doing this. It is my firm belief that unless you are a whore or prostitute, attempting to sell your services don't do it. If you happen to be one, please refrain from doing so in view of the innocent public. This just screams out "tacky whore."

4) Socks and Sandals

Feet are just creepy in general, so this no-no makes me shudder. Do not under any circumstances leave your house in socks and sandals! Seriously, put some shoes on if you're going to wear socks!


This rule has only one exception. If you are in Japan, it is okay. Outside of Japan, don't leave the house! 

5) Stained Clothing 

Wearing clothing with visible stains just screams "trailer trash." I mean... if that's the look you're going for, be my guest, but you're going to look like a dirty slob! If there is a stain, wash your clothes! If it won't come out, throw it away!

6) Jeans that are too tight 

As the go-to item in many wardrobes, jeans are often abused by people who want to believe they are still the same size as they were in high school. When wearing jeans that are too tight a person gets what is called a "muffin-top." As shown in the picture, your love handles hang over your hips and look like a muffin. This is in no way attractive! If you find your jeans starting to feel a little snug, it is better to go out and buy a new pair. You will look and feel better without the constriction.

7) Jeans that are too Baggy 

Jeans can not only be too tight, but also too baggy. It has become a "trend" for young boys and men to wear their pants practically around their ankles. This is just wrong! No, I do not want to see your ass, and I am not interested in looking at your underwear! Another fun fact: sagging was originally used in prisons for inmate to show each other that they were "available" to have adult relations with another inmate. Is that the image you are wanting to portray? You are "available" for adult relations...

8) Skin Colored Leggings 

A friend of mine actually posted this picture on Facebook the other day... the person (not quite sure if it's a man or woman) looks like they aren't wearing pants, when in reality they are. If you have a shirt, skirt, or dress that covers your bum it's okay, but really? You would have to be taking some sort of illicit substance to even consider this look!

9) A Snuggie outside of home 

Now don't get me wrong, I am all for being comfortable / cozy, but unless you are at home, please do not wear a snuggie. It makes you look like a slob who is in some kind of cult... what am I supposed to think? I'll probably think you sacrifice puppies and kittens... so wrong on so many levels! If you own a snuggie, please only wear it in the comfort of your own home!

10) An Animal Tail 

And I saved the worst for last! I mean really... what the hell???? A tail? Can someone please tell me what on earth would provoke an individual to wear a tail? I've actually seen people wearing them, and my immediate thought was "are they on crack?" People are not supposed to have tails! If I see anyone wearing a tail, I may just have to walk up behind them and cut it off... just saying!

"Oh that I had wings like a dove, for then I would fly away and be at rest. Then I would wander far off, and remain in the wilderness."

Epic Fail!

Back in the day I had a dream... that dream was to go to Juilliard and study classical piano. Sadly, because I fail at life that dream never became a reality, and now my piano skills are lacking to say the least. Basically, compared to when I used to play, I FAIL! It's pretty sad and pathetic.  

Even though I fail, I want to attempt to get as good as I used to be. I decided this when I watched this epic video of a guy named Andy Johnson playing "Chopsticks" on YouTube...

All of the songs in the video are ones I have either learned or wanted to learn. When I am able to, I really do need to get a keyboard and start playing again. The possibility of my getting to the level of epicness that is Andy Johnson is... well, slim to none. A girl can try though...

I am a Weird Foreigner!

Apparently I am a weird foreigner... why? Because I think that people should not drive 100 miles an hour in the rain. Call me crazy, but I believe in this strange phenomena called hydroplaning. It's this weird thing that happens when water builds up between tires and the road surface. What's the big deal? Well, there is this other crazy thing called traction, and this makes it so you can tell your car what to do. Your car basically becomes a sled! Yay for out of control 100 mile and hour crazyness! *insert sarcastic laugh*


But hey, don't listen to me, totally fine. I'll just laugh at you when you get into a horrible accident, rendering your body useless... okay, I will visit you in hospital and feel bad for you, but in my defense... I tried to warn you! 

And with that, I will leave you with a song: "Rain is a Good Thing" (it totally is... just saying).

Today I was Proposed to at Work...

Today I received proposal number eight. Yes, I have been proposed to eight times. And no, I am not going to name drop on in this ever so public arena... I am a lady! And a lady never does atrocious things such as slander a person's name!


So there I was, sitting safely behind my desk... at least I thought it was safe. A brother and sister come in because they need to collect something from my boss. Of course I was being polite, making small talk, while also inputting data into my computer. I guess I'm pretty good at customer service because the guy was like: "so, lets get married." Obviously I was taken aback... I mean, it's happened to me once before (an office proposal by a complete stranger), but you are never really prepared for that type of thing. Anyways, I politely declined his proposal.  


I thought number seven was for real... didn't quite work out. But that came while he and I were studying together (I thought it was sweet at the time).


Six was at my old job at MiraCosta College. Some random guy came in for help and before he was about to leave he said: "Excuse me miss... but would you please marry me." He was completely serious... it was awkward! All I could say was: "No thank you." 


Five was a friend of mine. Funny / sweet offer. He had always liked me.


Four was a good friend of mine. Not actually wanting to marry me... more if I was ever in a bind, he would do that to help me. Very sweet of him, but I would never do that.


Three, Two, and one were all ex-boyfriends... I think the lack of marriage certificate speaks for all three proposals.

Top 10 Break-up Rules

Unfortunately hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people every year are affected by breakups. Sometimes they are absolutely devastating... sometimes people couldn't care less. Whatever the reason of a break up, there are rules and etiquette which MUST be followed. Many of these rules should be almost second nature to people, or are followed instinctively. If for some reason they are not, or you are completely clueless about the world of dating, I have complied a quick top ten list of break up rules.

Rule 1) Don't be a classless eunuch!
If you are the one doing the breaking up, only break up in person! Not text! Not phone! Not email, or anything else!!!! If you break up with someone, at least have the common decency to do it in person. It is not fair on either party, plus it's tacky. Anyways, unless done in person, it is the lowest of the low, and shows that you have absolutely no class. If a man, it hints that you are a eunuch, and a woman you will just be a classless tramp. I mean really, have a little respect!!! It would be better if you slapped the person across the face. If you are going to break up with someone, have the guts to say it to their face, otherwise you will be forever branded as a eunuch.

And yes, if you are an ex of mine that has not followed this rule, I perceive you as a tacky, classless eunuch!


Rule 2) Put down the spoon!
Do not let yourself go!!!! Yes, you are sad... yes that ice cream or chocolate or whatever else you are craving to take the pain away may sound amazing at this very moment, but please drop the spoon!!!!! No amount of food is going to heal your broken heart. If you feel you must smother those feelings, do something else. My personal favorite is going to the gym and working out for 1-2 hours... for some of you that may be too drastic. Maybe instead take up yoga, go for long walks, reflect on yourself. Working out releases endorphins... endorphins make you happy. Also, are you really going to be happy with an extra 5+ pounds? I think not!

If you are like me, and accidentally loose weight after a break up (hate me all you want), make sure that you are eating enough food. Yeah, you may feel like throwing up at the thought of eating, but nobody wants to look like a skeleton!

Rule 3) Revenge is not the best medicine! 
Seriously, who are you really hurting? You are the one who is going to look stupid if you do this. My most recent ex has posted a bunch of random stuff about me on facebook, and me? I haven't done a thing. I am very aware of his action / that he and his friends talk smack about me, but I have more class than that. I am not going to stoop to that level, and neither should you. If you feel like doing something stupid follow these steps: stop, regain composure, move on. Don't give your ex the satisfaction. They are not worth your time and effort... just saying!


Rule 4) Cut your losses! 
Don't keep talking to your ex, don't see them, delete them from your phone and facebook! There are almost no exceptions to this rule, and it should be done as soon as possible. Why are you going to put yourself through the trouble? Being friends with an ex is a big mistake, and usually one person ends up getting hurt. It is best to cut your losses and move on. I have tried being friends and the cut your losses method, and cutting your losses works a lot better. Without them in your life, you are able to move on a lot easier. Don't make things harder than they already are - click the **delete** button!!!


Rule 5) Burn, toss, and purge! 
Get rid of anything and everything he gave you! This may sound extreme, and there may be some exceptions, but do it. It kinda goes along the lines of rule 4, you don't need the constant reminder of them. You may opt for the less extreme, but get rid of all their letters, gifts, etc. You can toss them or burn them... which ever makes you feel better! Purge the ex from your life!!!! Heck, I've been as far as purging their name / renaming them Voldemort! 


Rule 6) Friends and family first!
No matter what, your true friends and family will always stick by you. They are always there when you need someone, if you let them know. Spend time with your friends and family. Surround your life with positive people who love you for who you are. Yes, this is a sappy rule, but it is incredibly important. You don't have to do anything special, just spending time, talking, laughing, watching your favorite movie with them. Being around people who care for you helps a lot. Don't ever forget the importance of these people in your life!

Rule 7) Smash those rose colored glasses!
Even if you really loved someone, there were negative things about your relationship otherwise you wouldn't be in the predicament you are in now. Make an effort to recognize what went wrong, even what you didn't like about your ex. We don't want to make the same mistake twice (or more in some cases), so taking note of the negatives will help you:
     a) Dislike the person more, helping you to get over them
     b) Make you recognize what you don't want in your next relationship
This rule may take time, but it is helpful. We do not need a distorted perspective of what the relationship was or was not. It's time to actually examine what the heck was going on. And yes, you may cry... but it's all worth it in the end!

Rule 8) Get over it!Do not entertain the notion that the break up is temporary. You break up for a reason. Why would you think that it would be better the next time around? Besides, if you entertain the notion that you will get back together with your ex you will be wallowing away in sorrow while they are living their life. If the magic 8 ball tells you that it is temporary and they still love you, toss that ball to the ground, put on your big girl or boy pants, and try to move on. Yes it will suck, yes you may cry a lot, but it is going to be worse if you are stuck in limbo while they are happily over you. It is best for you to put things in perspective and expect that you are not going to be with your ex.



Rule 9) Wait, who? 
Try to distract yourself! The best way to deal with a break up is filling your time! When you are busy, you think about them less. Like I said in rule 2, take up exercise. If that isn't your thing write, paint, sing, learn a new musical instrument. Fill up your time as much as you can with things you enjoy. You never know... you may find yourself smiling a lot more.

Rule 10) Who am I? 
Yes, it may sound cheesy or lame, but find out who you are again. You may have been with your ex for quite some time and you are not used to being without them, but you will have to readjust. Figure out what you like to do... maybe do things that you've always wanted to do, but were too scared. Your life did not end when you broke up, it is just a new beginning.