Life never quite turns out like you expect. Two years ago I expected to be studying towards a bachelors degree (in case you were wondering, I'm not). I expected to be doing more with my life than making barely enough money to survive by waiting tables. I get that complaining about everything isn't going to do anything, but I'm damn frustrated. I worked so hard to have a good G.P.A. (grade point average), did all of the extracurricular activities necessary to make me stand out from the crowd, had no social life for 5 years, and for what? A degree that doesn't even mean anything... I have a crappy job, a car that's about to die on me, I'm not able to go back to school like I wanted (my "break" from school was only supposed to be one year... it's been almost two), and my finances are a joke. It would be awesome if a big bag of money were to magically find its way to my front door... but that isn't likely to happen. Right now I'm feeling pretty discouraged about the general state of my life right now!

Does My Body Make Me Look Fat?

Believe it or not, I was incredibly insecure while I was growing up. As the second of eight siblings I felt like I was constantly being compared with my siblings. I was also teased and called "fat" when I wasn't. To put things into perspective I was about 5 ft 4 and 100 pounds... so "technically" underweight. Sadly, the one thing which stood out the most was being teased about my weight. It doesn't take a genius to realize I wasn't "fat", but because of the constant teasing I began to believe I was overweight. I'd rather not divulge all of the consequences, but I began obsessing with my weight. I had to work out all of the time... although I did enjoy working out, I know realize that it wasn't healthy at the time because it began to consume my life.

Fast-forward to the present -- I have gained weight in the last few years. To most it is not noticeable -- in fact, people get mad if I tell them I've gained weight, or just tell me I'm crazy. Whether you agree or not, I have. It's not a ton, but I definitely notice it. The funny thing is, I really don't mind! I'm actually pretty happy with the way I look. I have a better self image now than I did in the past. I'm not entirely sure how that came about, but I am more than okay with that.

Today we are bombarded from every direction with advertisements that tell us we should look a certain way, but I refuse to give in to the current "Hollywood" fad of being an anorexic twig (sorry if I offend anyone, I'm just trying to make a point). As I get older I am growing more and more comfortable with the way I look, and who I am as a person. If you asked me in the past if I was happy with the way I looked my honest answer would have been no. I really thought I would get more insecure with age... maybe I'm just a weirdo. Whatever it is, as long as I'm alive, healthy, and I have my family, that is all that really matters!

I'm a Cut You... Out of My Life

Last night was not particularly enjoyable for me. It started out good, but ended badly. A friend of mine flipped out on me, then I (being a genius) decided to walk a few miles back to my car in the middle of the night <--- really not my best decision. After this I was contacted and asked to call the friend in the morning. Really? Call you after you were rude/mean to me.

You may be wondering what my friend did... long story short she drunkenly told me I wasn't a good friend. That was pretty confusing to me because I wouldn't consider myself a bad friend to this person, but hey, if hanging out, being nice, and giving rides to places is being a bad friend then I'm more than happy to remain in the "category." When I asked why I was a bad friend (because I genuinely wanted to know if I was doing something which was not appropriate for our friendship) she wasn't able to give me reasons.

This morning they asked me to call them... I'm guessing either to tell me how stupid I was for walking away from them or maybe apologize... who knows. I know for a fact that I'm going to have to deal with this person, but right now I really just want to be by myself / only see people who don't tell me I am a "bad friend" for no reason. Seriously, if you're going to accuse me of being a bad friend tell me what I did (I asked and she was unable to give me any reasons).

So, I am sorry [friend], I'm need space, and I'm a cut you out of my life for a short time. If you decide to tell me why I am a bad friend, I'll change it. If I'm not a bad friend, tell me so we can move on from this. And please, don't drunkenly yell at me without telling me why -_-

Stop Being an Idiot!

If one more person in the United States talks about New Zealand and Australia being the same I will punch them in the face. I'm not even kidding. I am sick and tired of people doing comparing them. "Oh, you're from New Zealand... that's like Australia, right?" WRONG! Are you mentally challenged?  Do you need to have your ability to make decisions questioned because you are retarded? No! New Zealand and Australia are separate countries! Want to know how separate? Google maps can't even calculate a route, and it gives you directions from Japan to the United States!

I am beyond over having to deal with this! If I recognize the United States as a separate country from Canada and Mexico you sure as hell better give me the same courtesy. At least there is a sea between my country (New Zealand) and Australia - Canada and Mexico don't have the luxury. So stop being morons! New Zealand and Australia are separate counties! If you have difficulty acknowledging that, go to Walmart and get a map!  

Feel Inside and Stuff Like That!

Tonight, as usual, I was watching heaps of videos on YouTube -- I'm not going to sugar coat it... I'm addicted to YouTube. Of course ended up going through my "favorites." This prompted me to listen to Feel Inside and Stuff Like That which is a song by New Zealand musicians to raise money for a charity organization called Cure Kids which raises money for medical research. I thought I would share this gem with you all. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

If you want more information about the song / project, you can watch another video <click here>. It is a lot longer, but thoroughly enjoyable! You can purchase this song on iTunes and the proceeds will go to Cure Kids. Here are the lyrics: 

Feel Inside and Stuff Like That

There are children who are so unwell, 

They have to live their lives in hospitals, 

They're feeling lospital, 

Mospital.

Children getting sicker, 

Drinking too much bubble mixture, 

They all just wanna be bubbles, 

They all just wanna be bubbles.

There must be something we can do, 

To stop these kids from doing spews.

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids, 

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids.

Kids need us to come together, 

We can make them better, 

We can get them some feta.

Can raffle scooters cars and movie vouchers, 

John stop blowing all the money on couches.

We need a million and a hundred, 

Ten and twenty-one dollars.

We need to build a trap so we can catch all the robbers, 

We'll take their money, 

We'll rob the robbers, 

So we can fill a house, 

Fill a house full of dollars.

We'll go to peoples and ask to borrow some money, 

They'll probably all just give us some money, 

We give them back less money and cause a confusion, 

That's the solution, 

Yeah that's the collusion.

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids, 

Feel inside, 

Feel inside, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids.

The banks got the money the money, 

They get it from the prime minister, 

The prime minister gets it from the queen, 

The queen gets the money from the bank, 

Who gets it from the prime minister, 

The craziest financial system I've ever seen.

The kids that are sick can't do hip-hop anymore, 

Their tummies their tummies could be very sore, 

We've gotta dig for some oil and some cystals and gold, 

Collect teeth for the tooth fairy and put 'em in a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

In a bowl, 

A giant bowl, 

In a giant bowl.

Stop writing lyrics about yourself, 

Get your magic wallet up off the shelf, 

Oh no that wallet's not there anymore, 

I know late night come knock at my door.

We sneak in the room, 

Where my parents snore, 

My dad leaves his jeans lying on the floor, 

In his back packet there's a wallet we can score, 

Get about 50 dollars, 

Or maybe more.

Your dad catches you with wallet in hand, 

Say it's for the kids, 

He'll understand, 

Don't need to worry, 

Don't need to hide, 

I just tell my dad to feel inside.

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids, 

Feel inside, 

And stuff like that, 

Open up the lids, 

Help help help the kids.

Top 5 Reasons Chuck Norris Should Run For President

With the upcoming 2012 electing approaching I have been bombarded with political information, and the sad thing is, even if I could vote, I wouldn't choose either of the candidates for president. If I could, I would vote for someone different.

You may be asking yourself who I would choose, and the answer is really quite obvious! There is only one person who comes to mind... A man who is intelligent beyond comprehension and stronger than any force imaginable. Who is this mystery man? Chuck Norris! It is an widely known fact that Chuck Norris is pretty darn amazing at absolutely everything. Chuck Norris has broken the speed of light and sound! He has also already explored every part of outer-space! You name it, if he wanted to, Chuck Norris could do it. But why president of the United States? Here is why: 

5) International Security: With Chuck Norris as President no country would dare start a war and democracy (or chuckocracy) would be practiced worldwide.

4) Intelligence: Chuck Norris is like Santa Claus. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Chuck Norris actually knows everything. It is a fact that all government and military branches go to Chuck Norris for intelligence information. If not roundhouse kicked to the face, the information they receive saves billions of lives. Chuck Norris is the one who informed the United States government of the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden. 

3) National Defense: Lets face it - with Chuck Norris as President there would be no need for any type of defense system. The military would exist purely for aesthetic reasons. Chuck Norris would personally train the entire U.S. military, and even donate his beard clippings to make Kevlar vests and other bullet proof materials.

2) Environmental Sustainability: Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick), and if tapped a single Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick could power the United States, along with the rest of the world, infinitely. 

1) He is Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris is better at everything than everyone who has ever existed and will exist. He has broken every record imaginable, and the only person who could ever beat Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. It goes without saying 

Electing Chuck Norris as President of the United States is the  best and only way to fix every problem not only in the United States, but also worldwide! It is also the only way world peace will come about. Chuck Norris is the way to a better tomorrow!

Chuck Norris for 2012 President of the United States!!!!

Five Reasons Women Hate Me

Recently it has come to my attention that women hate me. Why? Simply because I exist. I haven't done anything to "provoke" said hatred, however it seems to be quite abundant.

I've been attempting to come up with a logical explanation for this phenomena. Perhaps I'm too bitchy? Maybe a horrible person? ... but then my true friends tell me to stop being stupid because I am none of those.Over the last few weeks here is what I have come up with so far:

5) They feel inferior because my GPA is bigger than theirs! Intelligence is threatening to some people. I personally don't think I am particularly intelligent, but I have been told that this is one of the many factors which attribute to females hating me.

4) I have awesome fashion sense, I mean look at the picture to the right... there is a freaking bird on my sweater!!! How awesome is that? If you are wanting one of these lovely creations you are out of luck. I fashioned this snazzy number out of Christmas tree decorations and staples - true story!

If you are legitimately wondering why the heck I would wear such an ugly thing, it is because I entered an ugly sweater contest. Needless to say, I won.

3) I have a pretty sweet mustache. I've been growing it for almost 24 years! I get compliments about it all the time. Try not to be too jealous of me though. I mean, it's not a "real" mustache... With enough practice your mustache can be as awesome as mine... maybe!

If you're not able to perfect the finger mustache, you do have the option of buying a stick-on mustache. You can even get one for your car!

2) I particularly enjoy being in the kitchen <--- true story! Whenever anyone tells me to get back to the kitchen, I am more than happy to oblige. Being in the kitchen brings me immense joy, which cannot be obtained by being in the living room, laundry room, or even the hallway. The kitchen is a happy place for me. I could spend hours on end in the kitchen making delicious treats.

In all seriousness, I do enjoy cooking/baking, and would honestly like to start my own bakery one day... *fingers crossed it happens!* The cupcakes on the right are actually cupcakes I made. They were margarita cupcakes, and they tasted pretty darn fantastic. If I remember correctly, I made 48 of them for Cinco de Mayo, and they were demolished! 

1) I have a Harry Potter outfit, which includes a cape. I'm pretty sure this needs no explanation. This outfit has a cape, so it is amazing by default! Try not to be too jealous of me... you can get your very own in a Halloween store, which happen to be opening at this time of year. I don't usually like dressing up, but last Halloween I decided to give it a go again. I definitely enjoyed myself. I didn't really appreciate the sexual jokes about magic wands and such, but I guess that can't be helped.

On a side note: the shoes didn't come with the outfit, but I'm sure you can find something to match the outfit.

My life's ambition is not to please anyone else. I'm going to act, dress, and be who I want to be, not who you want me to be! If my existence offends you, too bad. You and your ovaries can get over it!