I Want to be Vulcan

At times I wish I was like Spock from Star Trek... able to turn off feelings. Sure he had human emotions, but he was still a Vulcan at heart. I want to be an emotionless Vulcan! To many people it may seem like a strange desire, but I'm over stupid feelings right now.

Today I was incredibly happy and just felt completely at peace... I had a productive day at work, went to yoga and owned, played darts and got a bullseye... then I got home and started browsing the interweb. Unfortunately I came across something which started a chain reaction, ending with me feeling sad. Long story short, I remembered what time of the year it was. If you know me pretty well, you might know what or who I am talking about, but then again, you may not. It is more likely that you won't know...

It seriously sucks how thinking about something or someone can completely turn an awesome day into something else. I really do wish that I had selective memory, or that I could erase a specific time period. As much as I cherish the memories, I would give them up so I didn't have to feel the way I do every time the same stupid memories come up. I was enjoying being happy today, but noooooo... Hannah had to get reminded of things that make her want to cry.

If anyone has figured out time travel, I would greatly appreciate it if they could let me know. At this point, time travel seems more of a possibility than changing into a Vulcan... I would love to have a "do-over" and stop specific things from happening. I understand that I wouldn't be the same person and all of that junk, but I'm so over these stupid feelings!

And now I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself, get my things ready for work tomorrow, and pretend like everything is fine... I will get through this, just like everything else... *sigh* I seriously need to stop writing blogs when I'm upset... I promise my next blog will be less depressing. Sorry everyone :(