We have been together for just over a year now. You have helped me through various semesters of school, including one which for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to take three honors classes at one time - SOOOOO fun!
You really do mean a lot to me, but your behavior lately has been unacceptable! Even though you are a fat whore (old refurbished computer), I have stood by you when others would have just gone to BestBuy and brought a newer, sexier computer. I have been nothing but loyal, you decide it's a good idea to skip videos and take forever to load things. I am going to try and get you help, as soon as I can, but please, when you see my computer nerd friend, please cooperate! He is only trying to help you so I don't end up throwing you off the balcony.
Hopefully my request has not fallen on deaf circuits. I would greatly appreciate your cooperation. Please computer... stop with these shenanigans! Listen, I am alone without a computer at a crossroads, please computer... listen!
Yours Sincerely,
Hannah
