Dear people hitting on me,
I'm flattered by your interest. While it is nice to know that I am attractive and all, I regret to inform you that I am not available, nor am I interested.
To all the guys out there who seem to think I am a free agent, if it wasn't obvious by the prior sentence I want to make it explicitly clear, I am not available! Even more heart-wrenching news to said men, I'm not into polygamy. Monogamy is kinda my thing, and that's not about to change.
I hope you are not too heartbroken, and you can understand where I am coming from... a happy place that does not involve you.
Sincerely,
Me
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