Today I received proposal number eight. Yes, I have been proposed to eight times. And no, I am not going to name drop on in this ever so public arena... I am a lady! And a lady never does atrocious things such as slander a person's name!
So there I was, sitting safely behind my desk... at least I thought it was safe. A brother and sister come in because they need to collect something from my boss. Of course I was being polite, making small talk, while also inputting data into my computer. I guess I'm pretty good at customer service because the guy was like: "so, lets get married." Obviously I was taken aback... I mean, it's happened to me once before (an office proposal by a complete stranger), but you are never really prepared for that type of thing. Anyways, I politely declined his proposal.
I thought number seven was for real... didn't quite work out. But that came while he and I were studying together (I thought it was sweet at the time).
Six was at my old job at MiraCosta College. Some random guy came in for help and before he was about to leave he said: "Excuse me miss... but would you please marry me." He was completely serious... it was awkward! All I could say was: "No thank you."
Five was a friend of mine. Funny / sweet offer. He had always liked me.
Four was a good friend of mine. Not actually wanting to marry me... more if I was ever in a bind, he would do that to help me. Very sweet of him, but I would never do that.
Three, Two, and one were all ex-boyfriends... I think the lack of marriage certificate speaks for all three proposals.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Top 10 Break-up Rules
Unfortunately hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people every year are affected by breakups. Sometimes they are absolutely devastating... sometimes people couldn't care less. Whatever the reason of a break up, there are rules and etiquette which MUST be followed. Many of these rules should be almost second nature to people, or are followed instinctively. If for some reason they are not, or you are completely clueless about the world of dating, I have complied a quick top ten list of break up rules.
Rule 1) Don't be a classless eunuch!
If you are the one doing the breaking up, only break up in person! Not text! Not phone! Not email, or anything else!!!! If you break up with someone, at least have the common decency to do it in person. It is not fair on either party, plus it's tacky. Anyways, unless done in person, it is the lowest of the low, and shows that you have absolutely no class. If a man, it hints that you are a eunuch, and a woman you will just be a classless tramp. I mean really, have a little respect!!! It would be better if you slapped the person across the face. If you are going to break up with someone, have the guts to say it to their face, otherwise you will be forever branded as a eunuch.
And yes, if you are an ex of mine that has not followed this rule, I perceive you as a tacky, classless eunuch!
Rule 2) Put down the spoon!
Do not let yourself go!!!! Yes, you are sad... yes that ice cream or chocolate or whatever else you are craving to take the pain away may sound amazing at this very moment, but please drop the spoon!!!!! No amount of food is going to heal your broken heart. If you feel you must smother those feelings, do something else. My personal favorite is going to the gym and working out for 1-2 hours... for some of you that may be too drastic. Maybe instead take up yoga, go for long walks, reflect on yourself. Working out releases endorphins... endorphins make you happy. Also, are you really going to be happy with an extra 5+ pounds? I think not!
If you are like me, and accidentally loose weight after a break up (hate me all you want), make sure that you are eating enough food. Yeah, you may feel like throwing up at the thought of eating, but nobody wants to look like a skeleton!
Rule 3) Revenge is not the best medicine!
Seriously, who are you really hurting? You are the one who is going to look stupid if you do this. My most recent ex has posted a bunch of random stuff about me on facebook, and me? I haven't done a thing. I am very aware of his action / that he and his friends talk smack about me, but I have more class than that. I am not going to stoop to that level, and neither should you. If you feel like doing something stupid follow these steps: stop, regain composure, move on. Don't give your ex the satisfaction. They are not worth your time and effort... just saying!
Rule 4) Cut your losses!
Don't keep talking to your ex, don't see them, delete them from your phone and facebook! There are almost no exceptions to this rule, and it should be done as soon as possible. Why are you going to put yourself through the trouble? Being friends with an ex is a big mistake, and usually one person ends up getting hurt. It is best to cut your losses and move on. I have tried being friends and the cut your losses method, and cutting your losses works a lot better. Without them in your life, you are able to move on a lot easier. Don't make things harder than they already are - click the **delete** button!!!
Rule 5) Burn, toss, and purge!
Get rid of anything and everything he gave you! This may sound extreme, and there may be some exceptions, but do it. It kinda goes along the lines of rule 4, you don't need the constant reminder of them. You may opt for the less extreme, but get rid of all their letters, gifts, etc. You can toss them or burn them... which ever makes you feel better! Purge the ex from your life!!!! Heck, I've been as far as purging their name / renaming them Voldemort!
Rule 6) Friends and family first!
No matter what, your true friends and family will always stick by you. They are always there when you need someone, if you let them know. Spend time with your friends and family. Surround your life with positive people who love you for who you are. Yes, this is a sappy rule, but it is incredibly important. You don't have to do anything special, just spending time, talking, laughing, watching your favorite movie with them. Being around people who care for you helps a lot. Don't ever forget the importance of these people in your life!
Rule 7) Smash those rose colored glasses!
Even if you really loved someone, there were negative things about your relationship otherwise you wouldn't be in the predicament you are in now. Make an effort to recognize what went wrong, even what you didn't like about your ex. We don't want to make the same mistake twice (or more in some cases), so taking note of the negatives will help you:
a) Dislike the person more, helping you to get over them
b) Make you recognize what you don't want in your next relationship
This rule may take time, but it is helpful. We do not need a distorted perspective of what the relationship was or was not. It's time to actually examine what the heck was going on. And yes, you may cry... but it's all worth it in the end!
Rule 8) Get over it!Do not entertain the notion that the break up is temporary. You break up for a reason. Why would you think that it would be better the next time around? Besides, if you entertain the notion that you will get back together with your ex you will be wallowing away in sorrow while they are living their life. If the magic 8 ball tells you that it is temporary and they still love you, toss that ball to the ground, put on your big girl or boy pants, and try to move on. Yes it will suck, yes you may cry a lot, but it is going to be worse if you are stuck in limbo while they are happily over you. It is best for you to put things in perspective and expect that you are not going to be with your ex.
Rule 9) Wait, who?
Try to distract yourself! The best way to deal with a break up is filling your time! When you are busy, you think about them less. Like I said in rule 2, take up exercise. If that isn't your thing write, paint, sing, learn a new musical instrument. Fill up your time as much as you can with things you enjoy. You never know... you may find yourself smiling a lot more.
Rule 10) Who am I?
Yes, it may sound cheesy or lame, but find out who you are again. You may have been with your ex for quite some time and you are not used to being without them, but you will have to readjust. Figure out what you like to do... maybe do things that you've always wanted to do, but were too scared. Your life did not end when you broke up, it is just a new beginning.
Rule 1) Don't be a classless eunuch!
If you are the one doing the breaking up, only break up in person! Not text! Not phone! Not email, or anything else!!!! If you break up with someone, at least have the common decency to do it in person. It is not fair on either party, plus it's tacky. Anyways, unless done in person, it is the lowest of the low, and shows that you have absolutely no class. If a man, it hints that you are a eunuch, and a woman you will just be a classless tramp. I mean really, have a little respect!!! It would be better if you slapped the person across the face. If you are going to break up with someone, have the guts to say it to their face, otherwise you will be forever branded as a eunuch.
And yes, if you are an ex of mine that has not followed this rule, I perceive you as a tacky, classless eunuch!
Rule 2) Put down the spoon!
Do not let yourself go!!!! Yes, you are sad... yes that ice cream or chocolate or whatever else you are craving to take the pain away may sound amazing at this very moment, but please drop the spoon!!!!! No amount of food is going to heal your broken heart. If you feel you must smother those feelings, do something else. My personal favorite is going to the gym and working out for 1-2 hours... for some of you that may be too drastic. Maybe instead take up yoga, go for long walks, reflect on yourself. Working out releases endorphins... endorphins make you happy. Also, are you really going to be happy with an extra 5+ pounds? I think not!
If you are like me, and accidentally loose weight after a break up (hate me all you want), make sure that you are eating enough food. Yeah, you may feel like throwing up at the thought of eating, but nobody wants to look like a skeleton!
Rule 3) Revenge is not the best medicine!
Seriously, who are you really hurting? You are the one who is going to look stupid if you do this. My most recent ex has posted a bunch of random stuff about me on facebook, and me? I haven't done a thing. I am very aware of his action / that he and his friends talk smack about me, but I have more class than that. I am not going to stoop to that level, and neither should you. If you feel like doing something stupid follow these steps: stop, regain composure, move on. Don't give your ex the satisfaction. They are not worth your time and effort... just saying!
Rule 4) Cut your losses!
Don't keep talking to your ex, don't see them, delete them from your phone and facebook! There are almost no exceptions to this rule, and it should be done as soon as possible. Why are you going to put yourself through the trouble? Being friends with an ex is a big mistake, and usually one person ends up getting hurt. It is best to cut your losses and move on. I have tried being friends and the cut your losses method, and cutting your losses works a lot better. Without them in your life, you are able to move on a lot easier. Don't make things harder than they already are - click the **delete** button!!!
Rule 5) Burn, toss, and purge!
Get rid of anything and everything he gave you! This may sound extreme, and there may be some exceptions, but do it. It kinda goes along the lines of rule 4, you don't need the constant reminder of them. You may opt for the less extreme, but get rid of all their letters, gifts, etc. You can toss them or burn them... which ever makes you feel better! Purge the ex from your life!!!! Heck, I've been as far as purging their name / renaming them Voldemort!
Rule 6) Friends and family first!
No matter what, your true friends and family will always stick by you. They are always there when you need someone, if you let them know. Spend time with your friends and family. Surround your life with positive people who love you for who you are. Yes, this is a sappy rule, but it is incredibly important. You don't have to do anything special, just spending time, talking, laughing, watching your favorite movie with them. Being around people who care for you helps a lot. Don't ever forget the importance of these people in your life!
Rule 7) Smash those rose colored glasses!
Even if you really loved someone, there were negative things about your relationship otherwise you wouldn't be in the predicament you are in now. Make an effort to recognize what went wrong, even what you didn't like about your ex. We don't want to make the same mistake twice (or more in some cases), so taking note of the negatives will help you:
a) Dislike the person more, helping you to get over them
b) Make you recognize what you don't want in your next relationship
This rule may take time, but it is helpful. We do not need a distorted perspective of what the relationship was or was not. It's time to actually examine what the heck was going on. And yes, you may cry... but it's all worth it in the end!
Rule 8) Get over it!Do not entertain the notion that the break up is temporary. You break up for a reason. Why would you think that it would be better the next time around? Besides, if you entertain the notion that you will get back together with your ex you will be wallowing away in sorrow while they are living their life. If the magic 8 ball tells you that it is temporary and they still love you, toss that ball to the ground, put on your big girl or boy pants, and try to move on. Yes it will suck, yes you may cry a lot, but it is going to be worse if you are stuck in limbo while they are happily over you. It is best for you to put things in perspective and expect that you are not going to be with your ex.
Rule 9) Wait, who?
Try to distract yourself! The best way to deal with a break up is filling your time! When you are busy, you think about them less. Like I said in rule 2, take up exercise. If that isn't your thing write, paint, sing, learn a new musical instrument. Fill up your time as much as you can with things you enjoy. You never know... you may find yourself smiling a lot more.
Rule 10) Who am I?
Yes, it may sound cheesy or lame, but find out who you are again. You may have been with your ex for quite some time and you are not used to being without them, but you will have to readjust. Figure out what you like to do... maybe do things that you've always wanted to do, but were too scared. Your life did not end when you broke up, it is just a new beginning.
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