I'd Rather be Decapitated by a Plastic Spoon than Call Customer Service

Some of the most painful experiences I have endured in the United States have been calling customer service for various companies. I'm not going to name names, but all of the phone companies I have dealt with have been pretty atrocious. It takes forever and a day to get through to an actual person, if you are able to do so at all. IF you get someone on the line 9 times out of 10 it is almost impossible to decipher what they are saying. I will admit that there have been a couple of times that I have had wonderful customer service, but statistically, the bad far outweigh the good. Due to some recent, frustrating interactions with customer service reps from a couple of companies (again, not naming names), I felt it was a good idea to come up with some tips to deal with this type of situation.

Tip 1) Remember, the person on the phone usually has little to no control over your product or service.  There is no reason for you to yell at the poor soul on the line. They are not the one in control of everything, so please keep this in mind.


Tip 2) Keep Calm and Carry on. This kinda ties into number one, but try to stay calm. If you feel the urge to yell or use explicit language which would not be appropriate for a small child, take a deep breath and carry on, without being too crazy. If it gets to the point where you are not able to be calm, ask the customer service rep if you are able to quickly grab a pen or something else which would be reasonable in the situation, put the phone on mute, and yell for a few minutes. Once you have it all out of your system, you may continue.


Tip 3) Take notes. In situations which are incredibly frustrating, it is pretty easy to forget what has been said. By taking notes, you can remember exactly what was said, and/or agreed upon, which will help you in the long run. If you need to do anything, and the customer service rep gives you info about how to do it, you are going to find it much easier to remember if you have it all written down.

Tip 4) You need some alone time. If your call is important, I recommend that you try to be away from people. Perhaps go into another room and make the call. If there are people around, sometimes it is not very easy to concentrate.


Tip 5) Don't forget that you can scream and yell all you want when you are off the phone. Hold in your rage until you are off the phone. If you want to punch a kitten while you are on the phone, refrain from doing so during the call... and after the call. I'd say that a punching bag or pillow is an excellent substitute for a kitten, which are way too adorable to punch. *Don't punch kittens!!!*


Hopefully these tips will help you out. Try not to take things personally and remember, customer service reps are people too - don't be mean.